Is there anything or anyone more overwhelmed than a Mom at Christmas? I’m going to start my rant off by saying that I absolutely love Christmas. I always have. I love putting on a red sweater, warm coat, grabbing a gingerbread latte from Starbucks and hitting the stores. I love Christmas decorations, Christmas commercials and Christmas cookies. But, something crazy happened when I became a Mom. I started to FEAR Christmas. Like, OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS is coming! When you think about how much we actually have to accomplish it’s staggering. I have put together a funny list of the things that put me right over the edge around Christmas time;
Husbands – Like some sort of holiday tradition my own husband never fails to tell me the night before that he needs a gift for so and so or something for a party the next day. Every year! Just this week Victor tells Christine at 8pm that there’s a potluck at work the next day and asks, “What should we bring?”. Christine responded, “Soda”. We have these types of conversations every year.
The Elf on the Shelf – I’m a sub par Elf on the Shelf parent. He’s completely neglected and forgotten and he never does anything fun like everyones else’s Elf. If there were a DCYF for Elf parents I would be sent there. I resent the Elf and he doesn’t even make my kiddos behave. Christine used to rave how her Elf was some sort of magic bullet that was responsible for peaceful mornings. I was never so lucky. The things my Elf has witnessed no Elf ever should. Which brings me to the next topic.
My boys’ behavior – I guess I live in some sort of dreamland thinking that my kids would buy the whole he sees you when you are sleeping , he knows when you are awake thing. After all that would mean behaving from after Thanksgiving to Christmas when we can’t even make it through a whole day. The word coal is a regular part of our vocabulary this time of year. Christmas, tis the season for empty threats.
Christmas lights – I love them on everyone else’s house, but what we go through to get our own up is another story. The boys fight about the colors, should they blink or not and Vaughn has “technical difficulty” every year. This year we actually had to make a service call to an electrician and pay $65.00 just so he could come and tell us where we could find an outlet.
Late Nights – There’s a well known fact that every Mom knows…….that none of things we have to do for Christmas happen during the daytime. We spend countless hours up at night writing Christmas cards, baking cookies, ordering online and wrapping. All month long. The latest nights I’ve had as a Mom happen around Christmas while everyone else is nestled like sugarplums in their beds. I look forward to New Years just so I can go to bed.
Family fueds – I have a girlfriend who will remain nameless but what she goes through around the holidays with her in-laws should be criminal. Moms have so much to prepare for and execute that you think family members would understand what it’s like. Why can’t we all just adhere to the nice message on so many of our Christmas cards, “May your holiday season be filled with peace and joy”. Family squabbles are hardly peaceful.
Obscure gift requests – There have been many funny ones through the years. As if the gift giving isn’t difficult enough, then Moms have to be magicians too. One year Nicholas asked repeatedly for “Splatster”. Some Wii like game that made paint splatters on the TV. We never heard of it before his request or after. We searched high and low and I think we managed to find it on eBay and ended up getting in a ridiculous bidding war over it. This year, Marcus is asking Christine for a play football field that he can play in. He asked for it to be lit with lights. Christine asked me today what she should do? How the heck should I know? I was too busy tracking down a package from China that contained Minecraft necklaces.
It’s a wonder Moms pull it all off. We always do and MOST of the time it’s done with a smile. Now, that’s what I call the magic of Christmas.